PSL and Orphan TFLN

[cuttingremark]

Because the captchas suck.

Comments

[hulkbusted]

Is that a firm percentage?

[Unlike the Hulk days, he isn't just going to wander around naked. He does get out of the tub and wrap his enormous bath towel around his waist like a sarong before going into the living room.]

Because I just want to be sure that I'm not here on one of those 25% days.

[cuttingremark]

[Loki looks back and raises an eyebrow]

Knew you were naked in there.

[Siiiiiiip]

It's probably more of a sliding scale than a set percentage.

[hulkbusted]

[Don't go getting smug.]

I haven't bothered to commission a pair of octuple extra large swim trunks. Or shoes, but that's more of an engineering challenge than a fabrication one.

[He takes a seat on the couch, lowering himself carefully to ensure it can actually take his weight.]

Hope you don't mind if I drip on the furniture.

[cuttingremark]

[Smug is his thing]

I love how you say that after you sit down.

[The smirk on his face says he really doesn't mind that much. What's the point of magic if one can't use it to clean up after a giant green man has dripped all over the couch and carpet?]

So what prompted this sudden visit?

[hulkbusted]

That’s because I don’t actually care if you mind.

[Some people’s homes get treated with extra care, and then there’s Loki’s place.]

I was in town and my hotel room’s bath doesn’t fit me.

[cuttingremark]

[Not the worst thing Bruce has ever done to Loki]

Perhaps warn me next time. This place is new so I don't have any wards up yet, but that's changing soon.

[hulkbusted]

[Worst? Or best? Bruce certainly had fun at the time.]

Pretend I’m just an ordinary old scientist from Earth and don’t know anything about what wards can do.

[cuttingremark]

[Well at least one of them had a good time]

Like a magical alarm, but one that can teleport an intruder to the middle of a desert rather than just make a loud noise.

[He thinks for a second]

Or incinerates on the spot. I haven't decided yet.

[hulkbusted]

Almost every jurisdiction on this planet would frown on you incinerating intruders, and you're on shaky legal footing.

[There should be an exemption in the case of mind control, but not everyone buys that reason for invading the bloody planet.]

You might want to go with non-lethal options.

[cuttingremark]

It is the direction I was leaning anyways. If they manage to live they can spread the word.

[He grabs a notebook from the side table and scribbles a couple of notes in it]

Desert suggestions?

[hulkbusted]

Death Valley.

[It has a name that should appeal to Loki, but it should be survivable if it isn't high summer.]

You could teleport them into a jail cell instead?

[cuttingremark]

Oh, I like the sound of that

[The most predictable god of chaos in the room]

But that would require me to speak with the police to ensure they don't just let them out. And it wouldn't quite send the 'powerful and vicious' reputation I want to spread among my foes.

[hulkbusted]

I can't imagine why. [Death Valley isn't as dry as his tone.]

Depends on which country the jail cell's in.

[cuttingremark]

True, but I like the desert idea a bit better.

[He makes a couple more notes before setting it aside]

Have you had dinner yet?

[hulkbusted]

I guess it's better than the bottom of the Marianas Trench.

[He's just about to prop his ankle on his knee, but rethinks the move. After all the orgy talk, best not to flash his junk at Loki.]

I can always eat. Are you cooking? [Because if he is, Bruce has got to see this.]

[cuttingremark]

I was considering it.

[He raises an eyebrow at the aborted motion]

You should probably put pants on before dinner, though.

[hulkbusted]

[Tempting though it is, Bruce has to pull it back a little.] I eat a lot. If you're cooking, the least I can do is buy the groceries.

[But yes, clothing is in order now that he's left Loki's couch properly damp. He stands and looks expectantly down at Loki for a yes or no to the groceries.]

[cuttingremark]

That sounds like a good trade.

[Loki stands as well, waving his hand in the direction of the giant wet spot. It begins steaming and in a moment is completely dry.]

Do you have suggestions for Midgard cuisine? [He knew dishes familiar to the people who worshiped them in the old days, but with a planet as varied as Earth there was naturally more than just that. He had a chance to try a few things, but not much seeing as he hadn't actually spent much time in his condo.]

[hulkbusted]

[Showoff.]

I have to pick the menu, too? That might be too much pressure. At least give me a genre - comfort food, light, hot, cold, that kind of thing.

Think about it - I'll be back in a minute.

[He'll be back and dressed in the jeans, undershirt, and sweater he'd been wearing when he let himself in.]

[cuttingremark]

[Loki thinks and has an answer by the time Bruce returns in rather nice clothing]

Let's see what Earth has in the way of comfort food.

[hulkbusted]

[The fact that every item he wears has to be custom made does mean it all fits very well. It's been strangely kind of fun playing dress-up with this body.

He ponders the request, trying to think of something that won't be a huge pain in the ass to make.]

Comfort food on my scale... Big ask. Okay, I grew up in New Mexico, so let's do posole. What's the biggest pot you have?

[cuttingremark]

[Loki pulled a sizable stew pot from...somewhere.]

If we need something larger I can always enlarge it.

[hulkbusted]

[Bruce eyes the pot and then looks up at Loki.]

Now you're just showing off.

[cuttingremark]

I'm always showing off.

[He dismisses it back to whatever pocket dimension he'd pulled it from.]

[hulkbusted]

Sounds exhausting.

[He pulls a phone the size of a small tablet out of his pocket and starts tapping at it, pulling up the nearest store that will deliver specialty grocery items on short notice because there is no chance he's dragging Loki out to a grocery store.]

Any special requests while I'm ordering?